From "Disciplines of a Godly Man" by Kent Hughes.
A discipline of deference must be carefully practiced in marriage. Many men never forego a planned pleasure for the sake of their wives. For some men, golf is synonymous to Dante's Paradiso, but the entrance to a department store is like the gates of Dante's hell, bearing the inscription: 'Abandon all hope all ye who enter here.'
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Having coffee on the patio with my wife this morning, it dawned on me that I was loving her at that moment. She was full of life as we sat outside and talked about the day, talked about the kids, talked about our summer plans. She needs those times, and too often I overlook that need in her life - usually because I don't need it as much as she does. The more we talked, the more I saw her contentment increase and it was clear that she felt loved by me. If you were to ask me if I "love my wife", you might be talking about a feeling I have inside (which I do). But to truly "love my wife" requires specific action - connecting with her on a deeper level, striving to understand how she thinks and sharing with her the burdens that she may feel. What is your wife's (or significant other's) love language? Do you know how she feels loved by you? Do you love her?
Author: Mark Dwyer "As iron sharpens iron,
So one man sharpens another." (Proverbs 17:27) On the radio the other week I heard about a VFW program who's mission is to honor and empower wounded warriors. Their purpose is trifold: 1) To raise awareness and enlist the public's aid for the needs of injured service members; 2) To help injured service members aid and assist each other; 3) To provide unique, direct programs and services to meet the needs of injured service members. I started this golf program 3 years ago because I saw another group of "Wounded Warriors" in my church, in my neighborhood, and in my family - men. We all have scars from unrealized goals, broken or unhealthy relationships, unfulfilling or monopolizing careers, addictions, physical ailments, and more. Some of these scars have debilitated us; other scars have only made us stronger. But we need to "aid and assist each other" to be the men God wants us to be. Why? Because we are in a battle, and we are the warriors. Our strength is vital to not only each other, but to our families and friends. Let's band together, as wounded warriors, and keep fighting the good fight! Author: Mark Dwyer "So you should earnestly desire the most helpful gifts. But now let me show you a way of life that is best of all." (I Corinthians 12:31)
My family of 6 was out to dinner tonight with a fellow "DBN" golfer, Rich M. My four kids were behaving themselves unusually well, which gave my wife the freedom to engage in conversation more than normal. About halfway through dinner, I laughed as I realized what had happened - in just 20 minute my wife had learned more about what was going on in Rich's life than I had learned in 2 years! It made me realize several important things:
Author: Mark Dwyer I looked out the kitchen window this morning and noticed a nice big weed growing next to the patio. I'm sure my wife loved looking at that as it grew to its healthy size! Some men might say "well she should have picked it if she didn't like it". But the reality is that she is so busy taking care of the kids, helping with homework, keeping order in the house, etc that she probably never even noticed the weed. It dawned on me that I will often go out of my way to buy flowers for my wife to convince her of my love, but I don't think of pulling the weeds for her as a "love" act (I think it's because giving flowers invokes an immediate reaction from her). Both actions show love, and both are necessary. Here's the challenge - the next time you buy flowers for your wife, pull some weeds for her too (and vice versa). And don't wait too long, or the flowers will wilt and the weeds will grow.
Author - Mark Dwyer "So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me." (Romans 7:21)
You know what is right, but don't always do it (see Romans 7:10-25). It's right to let the car merge in front of you, but it's easier to act like you don't see them (or flip them the bird). It's right to handle your finances with integrity, but it's easier to run up your credit card bill. It's right to spend time with your kids, but it's easier to turn on the TV. It's right to love your wife, but it's easier to hold a grudge. Here's a practical piece of advice for all of us men - develop the habit of doing the right things, and they'll become a lot easier to do. If you want to be a kind person, look for opportunities to be kind (ie, let the car in). If you want to have a better handle on finances, set a budget and keep it. If you want to be a better father and husband, carve out time in your schedule to spend with your wife and kids. It might not be easy at first, but it will become more natural as you make it a habit. What you feed will grow (Tiger Woods gave us a negative example of this); we need to feed what we want to grow. Author: Mark Dwyer |
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ContributorsBrett Lilly - Campus Pastor at Compass Church (95th campus), husband, father Archives
January 2017
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